long form listening

I think audiobooks have ruined me.

I love music, don’t get me wrong. I used to play all the time, now though. I like to listen to people speak. For a long time that manifested in strange ways. I pursued the audiobook format as previously stated but I also tended to listen to podcast. I’m not to ashamed to say that I used to listen to Joe Rogan. I never payed attention to any of the ufc stuff. Weather it was when he had them on or had his friends on to talk about it, those i would just skip. For me, the interesting ones where the ones with scientist on them, or just interesting people in general.

Eventually I stopped listening to him all together, up until recently where I tried to go back and listen to one with sean carrol but I just could not get into it. Not because of Carrol but because of Rogan and his political stances. They seem to taint everything he’s apart of now & where before joe was just someone that would ask questions I felt most people would, now I can’t separate that blank slate of a person with knowing who he really is.

Eventually I started listening to dungeon and dragon games because well, they go long and not having to choose something to listen to sometimes is. better than spending the ungodly amount of time that always seems needed or required to find something even remotely bingeable. I do this of course because at work I am allowed enough mundanity to listening to something interesting while performing my menial labour.

And before that it was lore videos.

I will die on the hill that 40k lore is way better than any 40k game.

I don’t see myself changing anytime soon. I have sort of made peace with the fact that I don’t really listen to music in the same capacity I once did. Where I had a sprawling collection of music from digital downloads to vynils. A truly prolific collection on itunes that spanned into the hundred of thousands of songs.

It was just the norm to always have music on growing up.

I tend to spend a lot of time in my own mind and for some reason I like it when I can pretend theres more than just me in there? maybe? I don’t know why I have such an audible obsession. ( not a reference to the audiobook distributor )

Last night at work I listening to

magic tier list and trivia! both by overly sarcastic productions which in the future will be shorthanded to osp

I liked listening to them so much that I decided tonight I might check out dnd game osp and friends had.

Don’t know yet but I definitely have to start writing more. Just to get more comfortable putting my thoughts down.

it is funny I just realized I was also listening to how historically accurate is assassins creed which was just good fun in and of it self. I like history when I think of it as lore. lol

before that I had been watching a lot of mtg stuff. I still suck but its nice to watch people go off.

working out e

everyday I sit on that bike and pump for an hour.

today I realized my knees, legs dont hurt as much as they used to. if at all. That I can reciver fairly quickly and I ran up and down the stairs a couple times today while dragging a twin sized mattress.

I’m going to sit on that bike for two hours from now.

it's been about 2-3 weeks

I have gone fully sober.

Not a drop has touched my lips since at least march. I can say it now because it isn’t something I’m trying to hide anymore. Alcoholism has fucked my life. I’ve fucked my life. I drank to forget moments, now i realize that I was just living an empty life. No memories except an excerpt here and there.

I can only go on.

In October I’m going to Peru for a month so that will be chill hopefully. I’ve asked for off and have gotten the approval from HR but still need to go ahead from my boss. I’m going to go, just depends on whether or not I’ll have to look for a new job when I come back.

Haven’t bought the ticket yet, but I’m looking for airbnb’s and started saving to having that spending money.

Aside from that I haven’t been reading a lot. Sort of burnt my self out. I mean I’ve read 60 books in 4 months and to me that is a lot. Then I immediently jumped back into Worm and reread that. which was fucking long. I did enjoy it tho. Taylor is the best in some of my most fucked up favourite ways.

I’m trying to listen to THe collapsing empire but will wheaton is just not a good orator/narrator. I remember listening to Ready Player One and thinking that he was doing it on purpose, that the MC wasn’t supposed to be likable. Turns out while that may have been the case I still don’t really like listening to him speak. On the other hand I started re-listening to Super Powereds and I just fucked hate a lot of the characters. I get that it was made for a younger audience but I fucking hate it when authors assume there readers are idiots. Also one of the main characters constantly critiques someone she calls a “friend” for the thoughts they are having. Like - no bitch - you’re invading someone’s privacy and then trying to thought police them. Go fuck yourself. I fucking hate telepaths. so, yeah, might be done with that series. Which is fucked up because I do remember enjoying the series. especially book 4 I mean I’ve read it like 6 times and at 60 hours in length i figure I must enjoy it on some level.

I’ve also been going to gym everyday. and trying to eat better. Not today, today I had chili and it was delicious.

Been playing back4blood more with some friends and Rogue Legacy 2 when I’ve got some time to myself as well as some games on mtg arena.

thats about it.

I’m a pretty boring person.

i forgot about this

ugh, i hate my mind sometimes.

I know i have to do this, but its like just making the time despite not doing anything is so ugh. im so frustrated with myself.

Dimension20

Def just signed up to keep watching brennan lee mulligan

I say that but I’m going to watch what I now know is 8 seasons of Um, Actually.

I just thought it was a youtube channel. TIL

I should probably take some classes

Or something. I haven’t been able to log in for a few days and it sucked.

I’m going to spend like an hour updating somethings, adding somethings, and then going to look if i can register to take some comp sci classes or something. Also it might just be a good move overall to learn a new skill. Definitely not ever going to commit to writing anything so I might as well try and broaden my domains.

Finally did my fucking taxes. I was having such a hard mental block with that. Took me nearly a month to get past a problem that took me literally 10 minutes to resolve. I really hate how my brain works sometimes. I can recognize it happening too. Which is by far the suckiest part.

all right. Since I’m the only person whos ever going to read this. I love you. You’re fine.

Wordle

I, like many others, stumbled upon worlde through social media. Imgur in my case.

Decided to play, and so I’m going to upload some scores here because why the fuck not.

Actually, save your reasons.

Wordle 263 5/6

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